Holiday Spirit

Not in the mood to decorate this year? Neither was this guy...


A+ for creativity!

Santa Fail

Year after year, parents continue to suffer through the age-old tradition of pictures with Santa. As moms and dads everywhere drag their families to the nearest mall to sit their filty diapers on Santa's lap, the process continues to cause misery for all those involved- most especially the kids themselves.

Below please find photo evidence that photos with Santa are perhaps not the best representation of holiday cheer.


Cool hats all around




Sloshed santa – notice the hand reaching for the flask




What better place to pose baby with Santa than in front of the cigarettes display. This kid is a chain smoker in the making.




Wonder if this sweet, innocent little boy knows he’s giving a pedophile the thrill of his life. Son, that's NOT a magic wand in Santa's lap.




Those eyebrows are about as real looking as turtleneck boy’s smile.




I’d be scared too if my mom did my hair like that.




Those lustful eyes explain why they banged approximately a minute after this photo was taken.




How long does it take to grow a sweet paper beard like this?




Thrilled




Creepiest.santa.ever.




Ruining Christmas, one miserable little boy at a time.




Prom came early at the North Pole.




Looks like Santa went muff diving on a snowman again.




Looks like this elf ate 10 too many Christmas cookies. No wonder Santa is telling her to shut her fat mouth.




Sweet coat kid

Tat Fail

Someone's confused here, and it's not me for once.

He/She in Heels

Hey girl hey!



Those yellow kitten heels really accentuate how tan her legs are. Oh wait, that's a HE! I forgot that most guys throw on heels, daisy dukes and a Louis Vuitton bag to go to Walmart.

Escape

Would Walmart really be the first you'd go after escaping from the psych ward?

Ho, ho, ho

With 24 days left till Christmas, why wouldn't you shop in this? More importantly, does stealing Mrs. Claus' lingerie automatically put you on the naughty list?

Caution: View at Your Own Risk

So many things wrong with this, I think the better question is what did she do right.



1. Aunt Jemima called, she wants her bandana back.
2. Your pants are too tight if it looks like your ass is eating them.
3. What blind man did you find to rub massage oil all over you?
4. Socks + sandals = not okay. Unless you're on your way to soccer practice, which something tells me you're not.
5. I hope you're in line to buy a new wardrobe, or at least something modest enough to make God stop hating you.

WTF: Weenie Hat

Standard grocery shopping wear

Clearly Walmart Doesn't Have A Dress Code

Shouldn't she be in the belly button ring section? Or at the doctor's getting a tummy tuck?

Somebody missed the memo

She must've missed the sequel - "He wouldn't get into you after 2 bottles of tequila and 6 hits of ecstasy"

Sloppy

This guy has bigger problems than which air freshener scent to get.



I have a feeling that's not chocolate on his pants.

World's Worst Mother

What do you get...

when Jack Sparrow and Santa Claus have a baby?

Walmart WTF #1

For the next week or so, I'll be bringing you white trash, trannies and titties - the very best of Walmart.

Who wears them best?


Guess it all depends if you prefer a ponytail or the good old man boob.

Fat Fail

Portrait Fail

You know you're white trash when...

Waffle house wedding

View more presentations from cristinjohnson.

From the mullets to the mid-ceremony cigs, this wedding is unacceptable on so many levels.

Willow Smith

This is Will Smith's daughter. She's 10 years old. Her singing and dancing skills make me feel like a failure.

Dance Disaster

Fail. I can't dance to save my life but I know better than to try to make my own music videos. Or post them on YouTube.

Foolish Fashion: Boob Patches

Curious as to what fashion trend will be next? Boob patches will soon take the runway by storm as 2011 is all about areaola.

Yes folks, you heard that correctly. Many designers are choosing to draw attention to the sand bags with boob patches, bits of fabric or patterns placed strategically over the nip. Now I'm no fashionista but something tells me this is just plain dumb, and a waste of fabric to be totally honest. If you really want to draw attention to the old love melons, just do what every other woman in America does and show some cleavage. Works wonders, you might even get a few free drinks out of the deal.

Fashion FAIL

Word of the Day

Grape smuggler: noun; A man who wears tight pants

Exhibits A-D

Moss Moron

Best.mug.shot.ever.



This fool dressed up in a moss suit to rob a rock museum. If that isn't a wake up call that your life blows, I don't know what is.

Children's books that were never published...

but definitely should've been.