Last night I got some great blog material when I encountered what I consider to be the epitome of a tool. If I were to present awards, this guy would surely win one for the week, possibly the month/year. So I was on the last stretch of a 4 mile jog through Millburn last night, sweating like a pig, gasping for air, and ready to die when I see a car slow down next to me. It drives a bit further down the street then turns around and comes back toward me. Now although Millburn is a nice, safe town, living in the ghetto of Orange until recently made me fearful of situations like this. As I prepare to duck to avoid what I foresee as a drive-by shooting, the car comes to a complete stop next to me. I look over to find Mr. Tool staring at me- driving SHIRTLESS (at 9:30pm, obvi not necessary) with what appeared to be a spray-on tan and a hair bleaching/combover job he did himself.
Tool: I just wanted to let you know you look GREAT!! Keep up the good work, it’s really paying off.
[Proceeds to give me a huge thumbs up and a cheesy grin that looks cute only on infants]
Me: [Utter and total speechlessness]
Did God really make people this stupid?