Thursday, July 29, 2010

A Breath of Fresh Air

Sick of getting woken up by a symphony of ass pipes? Tired of waking up to the smell of hot ass?

For all you wifeys out there who just don't appreciate your husband's scent any longer, there is finally a solution to your marital bedtime woes. The Better Marriage Blanket quickly and completely absorbs the odor of flatulence. The blanket looks and feels like a plain old comforter on the outside, but has a magical layer within (aka carbon fabric) that traps your ass air.

If you're having any doubts, you can rest assured that this shit's legit. It's made with the same fabric used by the military to protect against chemical weapons so you should be safe next time hubby decides to drop a nuclear bomb in his sleep.

The website touts that the Better Marriage Blanket makes a great gift for a wedding, anniversary or birthday. You must be pretty f*in rude/stupid/selfish to present your spouse with this as a gift. If your hubby or wife can't appreciate a good dutch oven then who the hell can??

This logo is a problem. Are the ass cheeks passing gas really necessary?

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